Iceice's World

haha, after studying fundamental to communication studies,
probably i really had learnt a lot of things..
thing to be mentioned today is DISCONFIRMATION...
what is that?!
that means, when u speak people ignore u,
they like assuming u are not around,
this is what call disconfirmation...

and today, well, just now, i got disconfirmed which make me really quite upset..
super dislike this kind of feeling..
and, just make me feel like tears dropping and feel like going home..
at least, my room now.. T_T
because temporary i am staying at Xin Er's place........

haiz, i have the feeling going back actually,
i have freedom at my room but how come i choose to be here?
well, is my choice and i got to stay until next week..
suddenly felt so sorry to all my Chung Ling friends,
as in, i should have continue to be in Hall 4,
and i should continue to have meals together with them also!

Ahhhhh, dont know what kind of feeling i should have actually..><
the main point is DISLIKE PEOPLE DISCONFIRM ME!!!
well, ignored what i had said,
I WILL REMEMBER!!!
and
JUST FEEL LIKE GOING BACK TO MY OWN ROOM!!

IM EMO!!!

hahaha, now only i realize i dont have any post in this nov!!
i think is mainly because its exam period and myself was busy to mug and practice!!
just feel like losing another good friend and make me quite sad....><
just hope that, no matter whats going on,
please,
remember..
i am one of ur good friend... (:

yesterday can be said that a really big surprised for my best friend here - Xin Er...
well, although passed for few days for your birthday, but i think for the 21st birthday,
u should have a memorable one..
and u are really lucky to have CBE family to be with u...
gave u a birthday surprised on 101011 although we almost forgot about it!
and another happened in Johor's Red Box..
haha... u cried.........
well, i really understand that kind of feeling..
the feeling of touch...=)
anyway, this is the very first time i involve in really surprised people..
it means, u are really special!
hope all your dreams can come true and friendship forever! =)

just cant imagine that, final is getting closer!!
it is coming to me in 1 month and a few days only!!!
am i prepared?
OF CAUSE......... NOT~!!!!
WTH!!!
anyway, yesterday was really down about my fluid quiz result..T_T
it shouldnt low like this...
as in, i should had known how to do the easiest yet = =""
i got no marks for the easiest question...........
but no matter how, just wish i can do better in my final even though Raymond said it is so much harder than quiz..........

btw, today post is about outing tomorrow!
never know we this group of coursemates.. or maybe small family of friends <3 can get so close together....
haha, we are going to JB to play for a day when exam is getting closer!!!
haha, should we be like this?!
LOL! anyway, just feel wasted cause 3 out of 10 from group are not able to go..
anyway, must go out with us next time ok?!

and......... i guess after these,
hope that the study group can really be set up...
i do need friends to help me with academic stuffs...
just dont hope to be like 1st yr 1st sem...
i want to do better =)

i hardly imagine that the final is coming in 1 month + about 2 weeks!!
how much do i prepare for it?
well, a good question which i totally dont know how to answer!!!
is really OH SHIT!
however, i was really trying hard to keep up with everything..
i want to do well in whatever subject as i really want to maintain at my 2nd upper..
and i am now at a dangerous level which will fail off easily of that..
so, ya, thats what i did all just to pull up the cgpa!
yet i am too addicting to games and gathering?!
games understandable.. gathering?? = ="
whats the point really dont understand...
as in, we are coursemates and we see each other most of the days!!
lol!
but, at least we are able to be so friendly to each other which my some other friends jealous of us! haha!
should i feel proud of this?!
lol!

anyway, this post was actually wanted to mention about a deadly subject - Thermodynamics however i strayed again from the topic!
yea, thermodynamics is really a deadly subject which i not really touch on it since the starting of semester..
even bio is better because i had settled the Prof Ng part right!?
and about this deadly subject, however i dont feel annoying when study it,
i just wonder why now i have interest in whatever thing....?
as in, i was not like that last year..........
probably im finally found a target =)
and, just hope to have the best result i can..
yeah! i feel that i am really enthuse in it..
so just keep the mood like this and continue fighting!!!
JIA YOUUUU!! <3

ah, suddenly feel not in a good mood cause of jealousy...
is it because of the different frequency we are having or myself again over thinking?
i just feel that like u dont want to care about me anymore..T_T
is it true?
after your exam, u did talked to me..
u told me u are going to sunway lagoon and i didnt see your msg cause i was just using phone to online..
then, that was the last time we contact... ><
i did talked to u for thrice after all..
and u didnt reply me at all...><
and now, i saw ur post in FB to Fish...
and ur conversations with eelui and fish,
so, busy for sure is not the reason u dint talk to me..
T_T
Ping, why u ane treat me lehh??
dont know how to say, just hope that if i talk to u tonight, u reply me =)

I CANT AFFORD TO LOST A BEST FRIEND...................

well, new met?
is really very funny!!
i had been be his course mate for a year but now only he found out!! = ="
its really OH MY GOD!!
haha, but thanks to this camp so that we "met" ?
haha!

this camp is actually quite fun after some days..
and to enjoy a camp, well, maybe u just need to SELF HIGH and ignore how people look at u!!
and so today for the candle walk,
haha, non stop cheering, kept shouting,
it was actually very FUN!!! <3
and hope for the remaining days, we are still able to play like that!!

and it should be time for bed but still need to go for laundry,
so... meanwhile, blogging =)

why why tell me why?!
why i am always the one who need to wait?
waiting for reply during msn chat,
waiting for friends to come back from all over the world,
waiting for this and that!
got very tired of waiting and i hate waiting!
probably i should put myself into others' shoes and think about it,
am i too selfish to say so?!
however i don't think so!
i should not be the one doing this!
so while waiting, i guess i have to think of dozen ways to brighten my days!
while waiting for reply, i play games or searching for jokes..
while waiting for others to come back,
i go hiking or go recycling with mum to fill up my days..
but actually it is not enough to fill a 24-hours day,
so what should i do?!
well, maybe just..
WAITING!

my birthday month is arrive finally and my birthday is coming so soon..
feel slightly happy now when think of the celebration i can have, friends who will gather with me etc..
although it is a small celebration, but i wish and hope it is special for me to keep in my mind even for many many years later =)

ohya, should have to mention about my result which released recently,
glad that i had improved a lot!
on the same day, i was so motivated until wish to improve much more next sem..
however, haha, things can never happen i guess..
emo will haunt me and happiness will gone and sadness approach me when i am in singapore..
this is what can happen, and how can i be motivated in such a mood?!
it is too early to mention that, so, just ignore first!
have a great improvement in my result make me feel great too!

in June, what i wish for my birthday wishes is wish that the wishes can always be realized.. =)
especially sometime, wishes that u made had been continuously for three years =)
♥

sometimes, changes need to be made..
sometimes, what you insist on might not be true..
sometimes, what u hope it could happen can never happen..
so what is the point of keep waiting?
miracles do happened, but maybe it totally wont happen on me..
find no directions and lost in the world..
just think to relax myself, have a deep breathe..
and wait for a suitable time for the changes..

Missing? Lost yourself?
i am not, i am missing my home, my parents, my siblings, my BFF and friends..
today is Mother's Day, unfortunately i am not able to be in Penang and celebrate with my mum..
as always, will have strongest feeling when on some special days..
dont feel like studying, keep procrastinating and relaxing = ="
what the hxxx!! i will have 2 papers tomorrow!!!

anyway, the taste of missing isn't too good..
thought of a lot of things recently..
about days after i finishing my exam,
about days i am in Penang,
about days i gather with my friends,
about many things else...

just that, i was having good days these weeks,
and really happy that i am able to cope with my emotions..
i am still me and no body else!
haha!
anyway, glad that i cant be easily influenced now! (HOPE SO!!)

after all, wish myself good good luck and all all the best in my final..

- with love -

I am super duper motivated for these days!!
haha!! so happy that i have such kind of feeling!!
so, with such well time managed and good good mood,
i hope to gain as much as i can, and score good in final!
this aim for this semester, a GPA of 4.5!!
can i do it? YES I CAN!!!
hopefully my motivated mood can last for 2 weeks!
just 2 more weeks then it will come to end!!
and i can enjoy my days!
FIGHT!!
suddenly feel that, nothing and no one can influence me so much for my life now~!
time management, mood management, no matter which kind of management,
i think i cope it well!!
Yuhhooo!!

JIA YOU!! FIGHTTTT~~

i am the only girl among all..
so, i always be the target for all to release their arrows..
i dont feel well by living this way,
but seems like it is the way i should live here..
i need concern but who will so nice to me here?!
ya, there are many, here? of cause not..
the concern need to travel by distance..
MSN and facebook from my family and BFF..
so, really as i always say, i really cant live without u all..

anyway, just happy that, i still have a very good chung ling friend...
who know to concern me and seriously i am touch!!~~
luckily i met u, luckily u are one of my good good friend as well..
arigatou, shyan~

actually i am really wondering,
what kind of girl i belong to?
extroverted yet introverted..
look happy but sadness always haunt me once i am alone..
smart for some but my own feeling is that i m totally not..
self-esteem is really high but sometime its as low as my bio grade!

ishh,
no time for all those,
tomorrow having programming final!!!
just to stress that,
no matter what happen, dont leave me alone..
i can cry and i sure will cry..
because, i am a girl who need concerns....

ya, as title, i am not smart...
i found out that, the way i study is like accepting all the fact from people and never question "why it must be like this?"..
so, i think just live like a robot,
input and output...
i hope i am really smart, like weesiang that kind of smart but not the way of studying..
even i am able to get 100, i feel that i gain nothing..
i wanna live a special life, can i?
i wish i really can but the reality tells me that "u cant!"..
why my life have to be like this? keep repeating and really like a robot!!
haizz..
no matter how, just hope everything will be fine after all..

i was thinking that, exclude my BFF and family,
who else i can talk to when i cant afford anything anymore?
i know probably i can talk to Sharon and Xin Er..
and then who else?
i thought i have a lot of friends here..
Chung ling's guys... however never consider to tell them about me..
does this university still consist of considerate person?

but, everyone has their own problem..
i am not the only human in this world,
so, when u face a problem, just touch the problem, and then think..
by my prof..
however, there is some problems not that u feel like touching then u can just touch it..
preparation is to be made first, or else, probably u will be the one seriously injured..

haiz, after coming here for almost a year,
found out that i have a serious problem..
my thinking is critical! i make decision without analyzing it properly..
like Sharon said, i hardly stand at people's side and think of them..
and i will analyze one by looking at who they mix around..
and i easily set up a mind set about the particular person...
is it i shouldn't be like this?
sometime, i am over believing what i believed..
dont know what to say and dont know how to say..
just feel that, i am no longer a good person..
i treat people badly.. and now, i am worst..
never think of such thing could happen to me..
i am really getting blur now and cannot focus..
probably, in once, too many things come to me and without answer..
it is really a challenge for me now..!
can i overcome it? i wish i can but temporary, i think i am lost and i cant...

is there anyone can help me?
maybe, give me the solution and answer....... T_T

HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
wanna complain!!!
hng...............
crazy......

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT..
I WAS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!

sometime i really really feel glad to have such senior and friend!
good and helpful and full of "weird" knowledge..
haha, anyway, just to say thank you, Glen..
well, it is not only because he helped me to bring my cream over..
he also is a good friend that will concern about friends...
last night talked to him and he still remember that i have some skin problem and still continuing to question me....
its kinda disgusting but actually i appreciate it as probably i still do not meet anyone concern about me except my family and BFF..
and, haha, i can say that u have a good insight as i am really a good girl!!
anyway, thanks for the praise and concern..
although we do not meet for long, but i know u are a good friend as well~ =)
and if u need someone to talk to, i am available also cause i am very talkative and kaypo actually!! hahaha...!
and fyi, i become lazier not because of your laziness spread to me,
i cant find any motivation and easily emotional affected..
so, just to say, together JIA YOU~~

haiz, as always!! i have stage fright seriously!!
and today = =" being pushed up to stage to perform a song?!
what the, VICTOR CHAN, U MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS DAY!!!
well, sang like shit.. and = =" SERIOUS STAGE FRIGHT LA!!
anyway, still proud to be a chung ling-ian...
haha, cause i met good friends, good seniors....=)
and i met Po Po and Gong Gong today..
she gave me an angpau!!!
she said " thats not much.." but i found xxx inside which is very much as an angpau to give away.................
thanks =)
anyway, special memories today.....

oh my god! addicted to alcoholic drinks!
i have drunk alcoholic drinks consecutively for two days!
well, not too much but i never drink like this last time..
i was addicted since i went to dad's company's dinner..
addicted to the red wine!
and since i went to Singapore, i was feeling so stress..
i know alcoholic drinks cannot curb the problems,
but i not yet drink until drunk..
i was just tasting it all the way~
and although i just came back for a week,
i had tasted 3 types of alcoholic drinks until now!
i love them all actually especially the one made in japan!
anyway, i would like to have a good rest now..
do my lab report and relax~

erm, i was thinking that,
if i tell u the secret, will u tell others?

recently i am quite happy =D
wondering why..
i guess there are 3 reasons,
first- i really really like my school tees!
haha, spent so much on it, its impossible i did not feel pleased..
secondly, i am going back home soooooooon!
count down for 4 more days!
how happy i am!!
thirdly, it happened after i bought my school tees..
chatting around~ and make me happy..
well, really hope that my good mood will always keep me up..
Iceice, up up up!
fight!!!

after so long, i think i'm STILL waiting for miracle to happen..
probably i m stupid enough?
LOL..
anyway, as long as i have time,
i will just keep waiting, and waiting...
meanwhile, i also shouldn't keep waiting only!!
so, striveeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

no longer can control my emotion..
totally get lost of control now..
just feel like want to cry out as loud as possible..
i never have such feeling and what is happening to me actually?!
is like, really, suddenly there is too much thing crush on myself..
but, if others can stand, why not u?
well, i dont think i am that tough,
and i really.......................
i really want to express myself..
to those, who really understand me..

just hope to rest well, really really well..
clear my thoughts, and think nothing..

Ice, bring your soul come back!!
u have already got affected for 2 days and do nothing!
it shouldn't be like this k?!
i told myself yesterday, yet i failed to control my emotion..
today again i tell myself now, early in the morning,
and what will it be in the afternoon and at night?
reckless, lazy to move on,do nothing..
thats all i did these 2 days...
no longer can be like that,ok?
no matter what results, u still need to be yourself..
i like to self-encouraging, but how many times that i m succeeded?
well, it just only 30%...
but still, WAKE UP!

i got no title this time,
maybe speechless?
i have come back to Singapore now after long holidays.
i skipped 2 weeks, so its kinda long!
still not adapt to here after long time doesn't been here.
so got sick..
just hope that i will get well soon,
and i must try to clear my mind,
do only what should i do.
anyway, after long time, i finally drop a blog here.
luckily its not been blocked yet. =D