Iceice's World

i am the only girl among all..
so, i always be the target for all to release their arrows..
i dont feel well by living this way,
but seems like it is the way i should live here..
i need concern but who will so nice to me here?!
ya, there are many, here? of cause not..
the concern need to travel by distance..
MSN and facebook from my family and BFF..
so, really as i always say, i really cant live without u all..

anyway, just happy that, i still have a very good chung ling friend...
who know to concern me and seriously i am touch!!~~
luckily i met u, luckily u are one of my good good friend as well..
arigatou, shyan~

actually i am really wondering,
what kind of girl i belong to?
extroverted yet introverted..
look happy but sadness always haunt me once i am alone..
smart for some but my own feeling is that i m totally not..
self-esteem is really high but sometime its as low as my bio grade!

ishh,
no time for all those,
tomorrow having programming final!!!
just to stress that,
no matter what happen, dont leave me alone..
i can cry and i sure will cry..
because, i am a girl who need concerns....

ya, as title, i am not smart...
i found out that, the way i study is like accepting all the fact from people and never question "why it must be like this?"..
so, i think just live like a robot,
input and output...
i hope i am really smart, like weesiang that kind of smart but not the way of studying..
even i am able to get 100, i feel that i gain nothing..
i wanna live a special life, can i?
i wish i really can but the reality tells me that "u cant!"..
why my life have to be like this? keep repeating and really like a robot!!
haizz..
no matter how, just hope everything will be fine after all..

i was thinking that, exclude my BFF and family,
who else i can talk to when i cant afford anything anymore?
i know probably i can talk to Sharon and Xin Er..
and then who else?
i thought i have a lot of friends here..
Chung ling's guys... however never consider to tell them about me..
does this university still consist of considerate person?

but, everyone has their own problem..
i am not the only human in this world,
so, when u face a problem, just touch the problem, and then think..
by my prof..
however, there is some problems not that u feel like touching then u can just touch it..
preparation is to be made first, or else, probably u will be the one seriously injured..

haiz, after coming here for almost a year,
found out that i have a serious problem..
my thinking is critical! i make decision without analyzing it properly..
like Sharon said, i hardly stand at people's side and think of them..
and i will analyze one by looking at who they mix around..
and i easily set up a mind set about the particular person...
is it i shouldn't be like this?
sometime, i am over believing what i believed..
dont know what to say and dont know how to say..
just feel that, i am no longer a good person..
i treat people badly.. and now, i am worst..
never think of such thing could happen to me..
i am really getting blur now and cannot focus..
probably, in once, too many things come to me and without answer..
it is really a challenge for me now..!
can i overcome it? i wish i can but temporary, i think i am lost and i cant...

is there anyone can help me?
maybe, give me the solution and answer....... T_T

HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
wanna complain!!!
hng...............
crazy......

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT..
I WAS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!

sometime i really really feel glad to have such senior and friend!
good and helpful and full of "weird" knowledge..
haha, anyway, just to say thank you, Glen..
well, it is not only because he helped me to bring my cream over..
he also is a good friend that will concern about friends...
last night talked to him and he still remember that i have some skin problem and still continuing to question me....
its kinda disgusting but actually i appreciate it as probably i still do not meet anyone concern about me except my family and BFF..
and, haha, i can say that u have a good insight as i am really a good girl!!
anyway, thanks for the praise and concern..
although we do not meet for long, but i know u are a good friend as well~ =)
and if u need someone to talk to, i am available also cause i am very talkative and kaypo actually!! hahaha...!
and fyi, i become lazier not because of your laziness spread to me,
i cant find any motivation and easily emotional affected..
so, just to say, together JIA YOU~~