sometimes, changes need to be made..
sometimes, what you insist on might not be true..
sometimes, what u hope it could happen can never happen..
so what is the point of keep waiting?
miracles do happened, but maybe it totally wont happen on me..
find no directions and lost in the world..
just think to relax myself, have a deep breathe..
and wait for a suitable time for the changes..
Missing? Lost yourself?
i am not, i am missing my home, my parents, my siblings, my BFF and friends..
today is Mother's Day, unfortunately i am not able to be in Penang and celebrate with my mum..
as always, will have strongest feeling when on some special days..
dont feel like studying, keep procrastinating and relaxing = ="
what the hxxx!! i will have 2 papers tomorrow!!!
anyway, the taste of missing isn't too good..
thought of a lot of things recently..
about days after i finishing my exam,
about days i am in Penang,
about days i gather with my friends,
about many things else...
just that, i was having good days these weeks,
and really happy that i am able to cope with my emotions..
i am still me and no body else!
haha!
anyway, glad that i cant be easily influenced now! (HOPE SO!!)
after all, wish myself good good luck and all all the best in my final..
- with love -
I am super duper motivated for these days!!
haha!! so happy that i have such kind of feeling!!
so, with such well time managed and good good mood,
i hope to gain as much as i can, and score good in final!
this aim for this semester, a GPA of 4.5!!
can i do it? YES I CAN!!!
hopefully my motivated mood can last for 2 weeks!
just 2 more weeks then it will come to end!!
and i can enjoy my days!
FIGHT!!
suddenly feel that, nothing and no one can influence me so much for my life now~!
time management, mood management, no matter which kind of management,
i think i cope it well!!
Yuhhooo!!
JIA YOU!! FIGHTTTT~~
i am the only girl among all..
so, i always be the target for all to release their arrows..
i dont feel well by living this way,
but seems like it is the way i should live here..
i need concern but who will so nice to me here?!
ya, there are many, here? of cause not..
the concern need to travel by distance..
MSN and facebook from my family and BFF..
so, really as i always say, i really cant live without u all..
anyway, just happy that, i still have a very good chung ling friend...
who know to concern me and seriously i am touch!!~~
luckily i met u, luckily u are one of my good good friend as well..
arigatou, shyan~
actually i am really wondering,
what kind of girl i belong to?
extroverted yet introverted..
look happy but sadness always haunt me once i am alone..
smart for some but my own feeling is that i m totally not..
self-esteem is really high but sometime its as low as my bio grade!
ishh,
no time for all those,
tomorrow having programming final!!!
just to stress that,
no matter what happen, dont leave me alone..
i can cry and i sure will cry..
because, i am a girl who need concerns....
ya, as title, i am not smart...
i found out that, the way i study is like accepting all the fact from people and never question "why it must be like this?"..
so, i think just live like a robot,
input and output...
i hope i am really smart, like weesiang that kind of smart but not the way of studying..
even i am able to get 100, i feel that i gain nothing..
i wanna live a special life, can i?
i wish i really can but the reality tells me that "u cant!"..
why my life have to be like this? keep repeating and really like a robot!!
haizz..
no matter how, just hope everything will be fine after all..
i was thinking that, exclude my BFF and family,
who else i can talk to when i cant afford anything anymore?
i know probably i can talk to Sharon and Xin Er..
and then who else?
i thought i have a lot of friends here..
Chung ling's guys... however never consider to tell them about me..
does this university still consist of considerate person?
but, everyone has their own problem..
i am not the only human in this world,
so, when u face a problem, just touch the problem, and then think..
by my prof..
however, there is some problems not that u feel like touching then u can just touch it..
preparation is to be made first, or else, probably u will be the one seriously injured..
haiz, after coming here for almost a year,
found out that i have a serious problem..
my thinking is critical! i make decision without analyzing it properly..
like Sharon said, i hardly stand at people's side and think of them..
and i will analyze one by looking at who they mix around..
and i easily set up a mind set about the particular person...
is it i shouldn't be like this?
sometime, i am over believing what i believed..
dont know what to say and dont know how to say..
just feel that, i am no longer a good person..
i treat people badly.. and now, i am worst..
never think of such thing could happen to me..
i am really getting blur now and cannot focus..
probably, in once, too many things come to me and without answer..
it is really a challenge for me now..!
can i overcome it? i wish i can but temporary, i think i am lost and i cant...
is there anyone can help me?
maybe, give me the solution and answer....... T_T
